“Work Sucks; Good Weekend; New Woman?”

I wonder if the reason I’ve started this journal up is so that I have a place to bitch about work. I don’t do nothing, but I don’t do tons. My boss is a neurotic workaholic control freak. She had me covering for our admin while she was out for surgery. Lots of extra stuff to deal with, but no training and definitely no thanks. We’re moving into a new building this week, so everyone is going crazy over that. I’m not optimistic about things calming down once we’re over there. I hope that I’m able to take all this energy about hating this day job and feed it into doing well in school. I so don’t belong here.

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I had a good weekend, got a lot done. My paper is progressing. I’ve got about 8 pages done, so I’m roughly halfway through. I have to have a rough draft ready for class a week from Wednesday. I think I’ll make that. I’ve got Wednesday off from work because of the move, so I’ll have all day to work on it. I don’t really know how to feel about the paper. It’s really well researched, but I still feel like it’s just a collection of facts. I’m not sure how strong the argument part of it is.

I made good progress on my woodwind quintet. I’m concerned that the last movement won’t be as long as I’d wanted it to be. It’s a good piece. Not stellar, not something I’m in love with, but it’s good and I can get behind it. Sometimes I feel like I’m just writing nonsense, but I know that’s my own personal opinion about art music taking over. The second of the three movements is still my favorite. It’s the one with the thick lush harmonies that I love writing so much.

The end of the semester is coming up soon. I’m looking forward to not having the intense stress of all the school and work. But I would rather it were work that I was getting a break from and just school that I had to do for a while. As hard as school is, it feels so much better to do that than this work shit.

Though, I will admit I can’t remember a time when I DIDN’T wish I was just doing music and not a day job.

I got in my exercise again this weekend, jogged both Saturday and Sunday. I don’t feel proud so much about that as I do satisfied. My eating habits are getting better, and I’m noticing the weight loss in my clothes. My boxers aren’t so tight, and my jeans aren’t so tight. My legs hurt when I jog, and even the day after I’m feeling some pain in the shins. But that’s after doing it two days in a row. I hope that gets easier as I lose weight.

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Aha! A space where I can let out all my insta-reactions to meeting a woman! I put a profile together for a dating site and I matched me up with a woman who lives down in Berkeley. Looks like a really good match. We talked on the phone last night for like 45 min or so. She’s very… she talks really fast. I kept wishing for things to slow down.

Get to know you stuff is hard. Like, writing back and forth with her, I thought things were cool, talking to her I was a little more concerned. Wasn’t sure if there was a connection, but I don’t know how much of that was because I was just overwhelmed by the fast talking. But there were some sweet moments. It would be nice to have something going that worked. It sounds like she’s in good shape, maybe isn’t so good with money, has a strong spiritual side. Actually, she sounds kinda like a hippie chick. Which could be alright. One of the things she wrote about was needing to cuddle with her partner at night. That’s required for me. After spending all those months with my last girlfriend, The Actress, sleeping together but not touching each other—ugh. Reminded me of the nights with my ex wife, ThePoorGal.

I would be nice if this turned out to be something. It doesn’t have to be something huge, but something. Someone to talk to, share stuff with, spend time with. Have sex with, okay, yeah that would be nice too lol. But more than that, have enjoyable sex with. That one has been a while.