“Blood. Guidance.”

Even before I got in to the work space, I was of course already struggling with my job. Just last night I took a moment to bare my soul to God. I told him I was hurting and asked for help. I Asked specifically for another way on this path. I’m going to school for music, doing well, working towards a massive career shift, and I asked for a way to this goal that isn’t so painful as this one I’m on now doing the work thing. He has let me know multiple times that he’s hear my prayer.

A few months ago, a new spell began itself. It started with river rock from one my nightstands that had gotten candle wax on it. I boiled the wax away, cleansing the rocks and they told me they were the beginning of a new spell. I called my friend The Priestess and asked what she thought it might be for. The answer she received was that it was for guidance and that I should put it by my shoes.

I bundled the rocks up for temporary and set them on the altar to charge where all my spells sit to charge. It’s been pretty quiet. The only thing I’ve gotten from it (until just recently) was a request for a white doily to officially bundle the rocks in. I haven’t encountered one, however. And I’m wondering if the spell is getting cranky, impatient.

Just yesterday, I cut open the tip of my pinky finger when I was getting out of my car. It was on the very tip of my finger, right where I cut to give blood for a spell. Very unusual, and I Knew right away that I had to give the blood to the spell that’s been working. I went upstairs to my altar, sat before it, and realized I needed to light the candles for ceremony. When reaching down to get the matches, I discovered more rocks. They wanted to be added to the spell. So I do so. Once the candles were lit, I tried to drop blood onto the rocks, but needed to make more cuts so as to bleed more for it.

I squeezed out three drops that fell, then wiped my finger on the rocks for more. I’m not sure if I need to go get a doily or how long I should wait to encounter one. Maybe I’ll ask my friend The Priestess about it.

I don’t know if the spell and my prayers for deliverance from the pain of pretending to be who I’m not are connected. They may be, they may separate. I am tired of hurting, that much I know.