Had a second date with The Goddess this week. And now I’m not feeling nearly as certain/interested/etc. She lives down in the bay area, I drove down there to see her. Things were going mostly well, then the bill came and sort of nothing happened. So after a few minutes I asked how she felt about splitting it. She seemed ok about it, but when we got outside, it turns out that she hadn’t been.
A little interjection here: I paid for lunch when we went out last time, and I had driven down to see her. I was sort of expecting she would pay for dinner. When it became clear that wasn’t going to happen, I thought halving things was a good solution.
Anyway, a bunch of stuff starts coming out of her about how she wants to be treated like a queen, wined and dined and all that. Okay, fine. Not what I had been expecting and not sure if it’s what I’m looking for. But whatever, her work situation is a little unstable, but this is giving me shadows of The Actress. I have no interest in being a sugar daddy. Hrm. My friend The Sistah talks a lot about being treated like a queen. Maybe she has some pointers for me on how to treat a lady right, but not let yourself be taken advantage of.
All this being treated like a queen, wanting to be wined and dined is all good; that’s what you date someone for, to find out what they’re like and what they want out of dating. I’m not sure I’m cool with it, but the point I keep distracting myself from here is that The Goddess totally started crying, burst into full out tears, right there on the sidewalk as we were walking. Very emotional for her. All sorts of stuff about not wanting to be one of the guys or just somebody’s fuck buddy anymore. I folded her up in my arms, dried her tears, and yes there was a voice inside me thinking oh crap another crier, here we go again. Just like The Stalker and we all know what she was like. Unstable, to put it mildly.
It’s not that I’m not compassionate, we’ve all seen pain in our lives. But do I really want to go out with someone who has a severe emotional reaction to paying for half of dinner when the guy you’re having dinner with already drove 100 miles to see you? Just asking questions, here. No, not just asking questions. Being annoyed and pissed off. And a little disappointed.
We kept on talking, kept on walking. Other stuff came out. Her living situation is pretty unstable too. Where she’s at now she hasn’t been for long at all. She’s been on the broke side of things, doing a lot of couch surfing for months. Okay, so starting to see a pattern instability here.
Nice gal, don’t get me wrong. She is sweet, very hippie dippy, feels very comfortable in my arms. We fooled around some, too, and that was (mostly) excellent, except for the fact that her living situation… she can’t have people over or won’t unless we’ve been going out a while or whatever. So we ended up just fooling around in the car. We both joked about it, but still there’s an edge there for me. I’m just like ‘really? I have to do this again??’ Oh great, another gal who doesn’t have her own place. Who wants to mooch off me.
I won’t lie, I’m seriously interested in sleeping with this woman. The physical vibes are there, feels like it would be a lot of fun. But I’m pretty sure all this extra stuff that goes along with it is not worth it. We got some basic passes—physical attraction, emotional connection, fun silly, all good stuff. But there are some pretty serious basic fails, too. No steady job, doesn’t have her own place. Not terribly emotionally stable. Oh but she also mentioned that she’d been out on a date with another guy, that not nothing physical had happened with him, but that that was there and she didn’t feel right about not letting me know. As in, hey, I’m still seeing other people, just so you know. I told her that I’d need to think about that, and how I only really date one person at a time. I talked too about how busy I am with work and school and if the person I’m seeing really isn’t it, then hey your loss but I don’t have time to waste. I didn’t say it exactly like that, but that was the gist of it.
Yeah, so I think I’m not feeling this one. Which is too bad.
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