“The Shift”

I’ve had a very cool idea for how to decorate my cubicle space at work. I’ve got a large panel which normally might be used for pinning up pictures or papers or something. I’ve decided to do scale prints of famous artwork and turn the whole space into a salon-style gallery. Righteous, jah? I’ve even started a new excel file to help me plan it out with all the info for the paintings as I list them out, along with the scaled sizes. Some of the canvases are HUGE. So I’ve got two columns going, one with a 1:6 and the other at half that size 1:12.

And it just occurs to me. The salon wall will be what catches people’s eye when they look at my space from a distance. It will subconsciously draw their attention away from my computer screen. Right. On. Capital idea. Now I really have to do it.

I was talking to The Goddess yesterday. I’m having some serious doubts about this woman. I’d told myself to break things off, even called her and let her know that between my school, work, and the distance between us, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do this. But I let myself be convinced otherwise. It’s nice to be liked. We’ll see. It could just be my fears. It could be just that I really want to sleep with her and don’t want to let go before that happens. Or it could be that she’s totally screwed up and completely incapable of a real relationship. Or maybe it will turn into something amazing and wonderful. Time will tell.

I’ve been in the market for new shoes. I’m tired of buying cheap shoes that don’t last. I’m thinking I’ll go back to the Doc Martens. I saw some in Ross last few times I was out there. They were all too small, but it’s really given me the bug to buy some. Their website is pretty good, and I know what size I need to wear, but I’d still rather get them in person for some reason. Online I even found a pair of wingtips. So badass. I’m totally gonna get those to wear for my concerts.

I finished my woodwind quintet over the weekend. I’m really happy with how I ended it. I suspect my professor will feel like it’s not adventurous enough, but in the end I have to be happy with what I compose. So we’ll see. I’ve got my lesson tonight. Fingers totally crossed.

Something else. It’s a Monday here at work and I’m feeling alright. I’m surprised. Like, seriously. I don’t know how much of it was the therapy last week, but somehow I found a way to chill the fuck out and not let this get to me. It’s kinda like, oh yeah—work. There’s a distance there now, breathing room. I wish I could explain it. Or maybe I’m feeling good because of other things in my life? The music is rising in prominence so the work situation doesn’t have to take on so much weight? Maybe a rise in confidence as the semester is winding down?

A quick aside: I’ve been fiddling with the global settings on my home studio again, trying to figure out a way to get the sound I want out of it. The singer/songwriter album I did last fall I’ve been wanting to work on and re-do. That’s another one where time will tell if I’ve got it going correctly. I’m always tinkering with that, trying to get my space to pump out a quality, professional sound.

I don’t know what else to say. I feel good today. It’s a wonderful change. Thank you god for the shift.