January update

Looks like I’m not out of the woods yet when it comes to journaling. Sometimes I wonder. It’s like it comes and goes. I really feel the need, then I totally don’t for a while. Ah well, I’m writing now so how about that. Once again, it stems from the need to blow off steam about work.

My job isn’t stressful, and there isn’t a lot of work to do. I’m also not doing a lot of work. Maybe I could seek work out, but I really just don’t want to. What for? So I can get more work heaped on me? Or worse, give away the fact that I’m not really doing anything? I just had a chat with myself. The ol’ voice of “you’re just lazy; you really don’t want to work” and today I was just “actually, I do want to work, I just don’t want to do THIS work”. Cause this work feels like silly busy work bullshit to me. Then I flashed on being in the GATE program when I was a kid and the teachers who thought that being gifted (re: smart, talented, etc.) meant giving more homework. Ugh.

Things are going well with Red. Very well. I suppose I could do a big long write up about it, but I’d rather not. It feels… what she & I have is for us. And even here in this anonymous space, I don’t really feel like writing the details. That’s between me and her, ya know? But things are really awesome. I’m hopeful that this is going to last a really long time.

I submitted a revised version of my research paper to the CSUS student journal. Looks like it’s just an online journal, they don’t actually print, but that’s alright. If I’m accepted, it will still be something to put on the resume where I had nothing there before. It would be a very minor publication, but a publication all the same.
Ugh. It’s not even noon on Thursday yet. I want so badly to be out of here. All things in their time.